Why I Like Food Play
26th May 2017
Humiliation is a very personal thing. What one person finds humiliating holds no emotional or erotic charge for the next person. Asking for 'humiliation' with no additional clues as to what you find humiliating is a bit like replying to “What would you like for dinner?” with “Something on a plate.” Well, lately, I've been enjoying using food and mess as an aid to humiliate a victim and I wondered why I get such a kick out of it?
Food and filth are primal: from our complete lack of control over our own bodily functions, hygiene and food needs as infants, our first marks of maturity, individuation and personal dignity are learning that control. We play with mess and food throughout our childhoods, but often less and less as we grow into the adult world. But even as adults, our relationship to food and cleanliness is a key indicator not only of underlying emotional and control issues in an individual, but also of socio-political health: a nation of both foodbanks and obesity is a sure signifier that the system is out of control.
In the dungeon of course, we get to play with these ideas in a safe, consensual and sane space. So how does food fit into a humiliation scene? I remember as a kid I loved getting covered in muck – it was exhilarating, subversive and abandoned – from mud-bathing at the local estuary to food fights with my younger brother. I also remember times as a kid when somebody else covered you in muck, and it didn't feel so great, like the time someone 'egged' my best friend in front of the whole school – she was devastated. When playing with food and filth, we learnt that it was easy to 'go too far', to violate, because there is something so transgressive about either allowing oneself to get filthy or to make a mess of someone else. It plays heavily with our sense of boundaries and learnt behaviours.
Apart from the sheer fun we can have, I find it very satisfying to make a sub obey me and endure all manner of torments, their pride on it's knees in a state of ever-increasing filth. Wow, am I really allowed to do this, I ask myself, as surely as my sub is asking himself why he is letting me!? It connects us both to that glorious-inglorious wild primal state before we were fully conditioned, made self-restrained and presentable for the benefit of others. And it also takes us back to that state of being where we hadn't yet fully separated from each other, that state in which, as children, we felt entitled to play with another person's physicality in our strange, rambunctious erotic games because in a sense your body was my body and visa versa.
So, if you stick with “I don't know, just humiliate me” and I am in a messy mood, you may just meet your Mistress donning a pair of Marigolds, popping an ice-cube in your mouth and laughing wickedly as you cover yourself in your own drool, sitting in a handful of very squishy foods which I have massaged into the nappy you are wearing. You may find yourself squeaking your favourite song on a dog toy to my satisfaction before eating a rather interesting lunch on your hands and knees out of a dog bowl, washed down with a glass of Mistress' finest champagne. And if I'm feeling especially cruel, I will likely restrain you in a most undignified position and place you in front of a mirror, so that you are forced to witness your own degradation....and then thank me for it.
Be careful what you ask for!